Ten Proofs for My Continued Existence

1. I just took three Advil. I feel pain; therefore, I am.

2. Library books returned, $16 fine paid, audio book of David Copperfield renewed.

3. My dog has been spotted in my neighborhood with a blonde woman in fake UGGs.

4. Persistent Starbucks charges on debit card totaling $4.35.

5. Long hair in the sink, tub and drain.

6. 92-point word, JUTES, played against my father.

7. Name paged over intercom at work repeatedly during 5-minute passing period.

8. Someone "window shopping" on www.ruelala.com routinely fills my shopping cart with size 9 shoes.

9. Folded laundry, paired socks.

10. Novel manuscript continues to grow, little by little. Currently: 105,000 words.