Dear Man who came out of the bathroom still zipping up,

Please note: That should really be done when you're still in the bathroom, before you wash your hands, before you unlock the door, before you step out into the hallway of this fine establishment, before you bump into me, before you say "Oopsie" (perhaps at your age, you should never say "Oopsie") and before I even have a chance to roll my eyes.

Just a thought for next time.

Sincerely,

Woman who should just give in and get a kidney infection, already